For the sake of appearances I have typed this. Um... yes, I re-blog mostly so that later I can go back and laugh at a collection of funnies.
Can I not

bennycreampuff:

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

My mum had a very easy way to deal with us falling. “Oops! Fell down. Okay? Good! Back up, then!” And we’d be on our way, no worse for wear.

(Source: kaliskadyami)

thetripplepppsenpai:

terminator-pinkie-pie:

imminentlyginger:

you fucked up

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING IT HURTS

snap crackle spock

lmfao

(Source: becca-morley)

straight-as-a-curly-fry:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two

OH MY GOD NO

twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car

STOP IT

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

(Source: bearsnbritts)

time-doesnt-wait-for-me:

marvelous-gallifrey:

time-doesnt-wait-for-me:

eatsleepcrap:

the best of Supernatural subtitles

YOU FORGOT THE BEST ONES

What about

You

are

on

like

donkey

kong

oeshka:

windschanging:

valkubus-shipper:

patrocluschironides:

are you a boy? your clothes are boy clothes.

are you a girl? your clothes are girl clothes.

are you outside the binary of boy and girl? so are your clothes.

did someone just tell you your clothes don’t match your gender identity? they are a trashcan and their clothes are trashcan clothes.

Or in the words of Eddie Izzard.. 

Because this cannot be reblogged enough.

Screaming silently in adoration

(Source: kinginawolfsuit)

nepetalast:

sheyna-sterling:

pissy-little-aquarius:

why are parents allowed to yell and scream at their children and call them names and just make them feel like shit in general…

but when kids try to defend themselves…. its disrespectful?

what kind of fucking shit parents do you have

is this a new thing to you

bangays:

what if instead of saying nip slip we said nipple slipple

maliciaous:

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

image

BUT WAIT

THIS:

image

IS:

image

SOME:

image

OF THE BRILLIANT:

image

STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

image

WHAT THE HELL

todallison:

this vine is better than all of paranormal activity

(Source: vinebox)

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

sirdef:

novaorchid:

#can you imagine if we left these 4 guys alone in the top floor of stark tower for like a month #or even just a week #SHIT WOULD GET DONE #we’d probably have interstellar travel in 3 days

i’m not a science expert. i’m not even a science novice. but that’s so interesting that these four would come up with interstellar travel when none of the 4 above are qualified as far as we know? reed richards in the mcu is just listed as a physicist, peter parker could only be linked with engineering + genetics, tony’s engineering, bruce banner is physicist in the 616 but i believe just radiology in the mcu.

know who IS an astrophysicist though?

know who has actually manipulated travel between realms? 

jane foster!

stop leaving jane foster out of science 2k14

(Source: harrydresdens)

electricshoebox:

pomfcat:

Such polite barks

he gets up all excited the last time like YEAH I’M GONNA SPEAK YEAH WATCH THIS

"…….wuf"

(Source: dualchainz)